Authentic

To be Authentic is to be yourself. But, what does that really mean?

Let’s put our heads outside the windows of our cramped, stuffy cars and think for a moment.

Ah! Now we can feel the wind.

Imagine this was our first time opening the windows....ever. We knew it was going to be windy because we had been told about it. We probably even saw some pictures and videos of it. Some people said 'it will mess up your hair and there’ll be dust sticking to your face after.' Some people told us 'it is a lot of fun to feel the cool breeze on your face.' But now that we have opened it, we get to see for ourselves what it is like.The question is: Do you like opening the window of your car? If this question were asked to you before you experienced it yourself your response would have probably been the same as what everyone told you or ‘I don’t know.’  It is only after we have experienced it that we can decide our answer.

But we live in a complicated world with some complicated rules. Sometimes it’s hard to say ‘I don’t know.’ It’s easy to look all around us and get our information from everyone else and think that we have arrived at our own conclusion.  Sometimes it’s hard to be our true selves because it may mean we will be disliked by the people around us for it. But most times, it’s hard to be our true selves because we don’t know who we are.

To find the right answer, we must ask the right questions. But is the right question “how can I be authentic?” Or is it:  “Do I have an authentic self to begin with?”

I think of myself as made up of bricks; bricks of ideas and perceptions.

In the beginning, I had no bricks. I was nothing. I didn’t even know I existed.

But, slowly, some bricks were placed inside me; Logical bricks, Moral bricks, Nurturing bricks; but along with those a few others slipped in unknowingly: some Fear and anxiety bricks, Religious bricks, Cultural bricks. Most of these bricks were given to me. They were not mine by choice. Then there were some bricks I chose: Friendship bricks, bricks about love, Work bricks etc. But I chose them not knowing what any of those things really meant or felt like? How could I have known? I was still in a car with closed windows. So most of the bricks I had were bricks borrowed from other people and places.  

All the choices we make and actions we do are based on the bricks we have with us. In other words, we are already being true to ourselves. We are being as authentic as we can be. Some choices we made in the past may feel like mistakes in hindsight, but remember, we only acted based on our set of bricks. It is only when we start feeling the passing wind upon us, that we truly start to understand which bricks we want to keep and which ones we need to let go. Slowly, as we experience the wind from different places and directions, we can make our own bricks.

So now I have some new bricks and I have some old bricks; it’s okay to keep some old bricks; even the fear, anxiety and religious ones if you like; but this time we know why we keep it and we choose to keep it.

We might not be unique. Authenticity does not require you to be unique. It only requires you to be true to yourself; even if it means being disliked by the people around you sometimes; even if it means doing the same as everyone else; the difference this time is that you know the bricks you are made up of and those bricks are your choices.  

In conclusion, the question is not “How can we be authentic?” The answer to that question is: “We are authentic all the time.“ But, when you ask yourselves “Do I have an authentic self?” the answer becomes “We can build one by choosing our ideas and perceptions.The more bricks we have that are of our choice, the more authentic we become; and that is an eternal quest for we are ever-growing and ever-changing.” That is what the word Authentic signifies to me.

I am writing these posts mainly because I am trying to create my own bricks and put them in the right place.

But if someone stumbles upon these writings and it helps them get a step closer to creating their own bricks, then the blog has fulfilled its purpose.