Self-Esteem

 Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.

If you are like me, then low self-esteem is probably something that has gnawed at your life. The more I think about things, the more I am beginning to understand that my feelings of anxiety, frustration, a kind of depression and a general lack of contentment are all symptoms of my inability to trust myself. So I have given this word a lot of thought and I wanted to write it down somewhere so I can read it whenever I forget the truth of this matter.

If I were to describe the way I think in a sentence, it would be this: During the most important moments in life, I can never seem to rise up to the challenge; I always let myself down.

The biggest problem with not having enough self-esteem is that when other people treat you less, you start to believe that you are in fact less. Unable to trust your own thoughts, you end up seeking your worth from outside only to be disappointed because not many people care what you are worth. It does not interest them because they are preoccupied with their own worth. That’s why having low self-esteem is one of those highly malignant diseases that eats us away until there is nothing left of ourselves. The only cure is to trust ourselves. It requires us to bravely do that even through times of failures.

But bravery is not the only thing required to cure this disease. It also requires us to think. Think deeply on our thoughts and actions and reflect on them. Although there are many small steps, I am writing here the two main steps.

1.       Analyse the reason for our failures. When we look at our failures from a more practical perspective, we will understand that failures are not a representation of our abilities but rather represent our lack of experience. In other words, we did not have the foresight to see the consequences of our actions. It happens to everyone and it will happen to us again. All we can do is learn the lessons we need from it.

2.       Analyse our choices and decisions every step of the way. When you are about to make a choice ask yourself if you expect your self-worth to increase from the outcome. Are you expecting other people to take notice of your work and thereby improve their opinion of you? The decision itself may not be wrong, but you have to realise that in no way will it give you what you expect. Without this check, even if you succeed, you will feel like you failed. 

If we don’t help ourselves, things can get worse. We stop taking chances and deprive ourselves of opportunities in life. What may look like a simple case of procrastination may be us escaping from our lives, from our responsibilities; since we are in constant inner conflict, we want a certain life, but we are almost sure that we will never attain it.

Unlike those movies we all probably watched, confidence does not grow overnight. It’s not a big, magical moment of revelation. We need to remind ourselves of it every day and try to live the way we want. Far from overcoming my self-doubt as yet, but I try to remind myself when I can, that being confident and trusting in my worth will give me the opportunity to live the life I want; and that is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.